Can you believe it? The girls are turning ONE this month! Just as they warned me, this year has flown by. While this has been the hardest year, it has been the most beautiful year. Watching the girls grow and take in the world has been incredible to watch. It is amazing to watch them both meet and exceed all milestones that have been set for them.
As their birthday is quickly approaching, I’ve been overwhelmed with moments of gratitude and reflection. We have been extremely blessed this past year and it all started during our time in the NICU. Not only were our friends and family giving their hearts to us during what was an extremely hard time, previous NICU families were lending their hand along the way. We didn’t know them personally, but we were sitting in the same chairs that they sat in watching their little ones fight. I’ve learned nothing can connect you quicker than finding out you both had children in the NICU.
The NICU is a special place. I’m not sure there are words to accurately describe it. It is both the most beautiful place and the most heartbreaking place. When the girls were born, I saw them for a split second and the next thing I knew, they were whisked away. I didn’t get to hold them. I got a quick look and then it was such a blur. All I knew was they were stable and they were headed to the NICU. That’s where it all began.
For the next four weeks, we would spend our days in a place that felt like home, but also felt like a nightmare. Words that come to mind when thinking about our time in the NICU: Hard. Scary. Testing. Faith. Tears. Survival Mode. Eye-opening. Miracles. Transformative. Emotional.
There isn’t anything that can prepare you to have your first interaction with your baby wearing gloves and reaching into an incubator as they have 10 different things attached them, not knowing what any of them mean. Not knowing if touching them is going to hurt them. Not knowing what the long beeps mean as nurses rush in, assuring you everything is okay, but letting you know they need to get through.
Nothing can prepare you to leave your babies in the hands of strangers after you carried them for so long. It was just us and minutes after they’re born, you lose that control. You have to trust that a stranger has your babies best interest and are going to do what they can to help them thrive. Nothing can prepare you to drive off of the parking lot five days after giving birth and all you have are empty car seats.
Nothing can prepare you for the emotions that you have waking up every two hours to pump while you watch your babies on a camera via the internet, not being able to reach over to them when they’re crying.
Nothing can prepare you to be a NICU parent.
It’s a roller coaster of high and lows.
However, with the help of friends and family and in our case, previous NICU families, you somehow get by day to day. The friends who leave dinner in your garage while you’re at the NICU. The friends who stop by with Starbucks, healthy treats (because breastfeeding makes you at everything in sight) and face masks. The family members who visit your babies daily in the NICU, even when you can’t be there – just so they’re not alone. The friends who send constant texts and reminders that you’re doing an amazing job, even though they know you aren’t going to respond. The previous NICU families who send daily gifts as you’re spending your holidays in the hospital. The previous NICU families who write letters of encouragement. The previous NICU families who share the miracles they’ve seen. The previous NICU families who let you know its okay to not be okay. That they’re on the other side sending you the strength you need. The Instagram friends who send constant praise and hope. The Instagram friends who encourage in the hard times and celebrate in the weight gains. The Instagram friends who cried when the girls were discharged because they were incredibly happy for you.
Family. Friends. NICU Nurses and Doctors. Strangers. That is what got us through our NICU stay and this is what got us through our first year. All of you. They say that you need a village to raise a baby, but I think you also need a village to raise a new mom and that is what all of you did. With grace. With love. With respect. I can never repay what has been given to me this year, but I’d like to think I can pay it forward a bit.
What I am getting at, after this long trip down memory lane, is for the girls birthday this year – we are asking that instead of traditional gifts – that you help us bless other families in the NICU. We want to give the same love, hope and support that we were given to as many families as possible.
To do that, we are putting together NICU bags during the month of November.
When we would walk into the NICU after a long, sleepless night and see a gift or a note of encouragement from a previous family – it truly turned our day around. I will never forget a letter I received along side of a hand painted mirror. It ended with a reminder to always look into the mirror because I was strong and my baby was lucky to have me as a mom. It was something so little, but meant so much.
I’ve put together a list of items on Amazon + a few ideas on what we would like to put into the bags.
Amazon Wish List (click the link)
Fleece Blankets (Kohls, Five and Below) or Tie-Blankets
Fuzzy Socks (with grips if possible)
Face Masks (similar items)
Re-usable Water Bottles
Tim Horton Gift Cards ($5 increments)
McDonalds Gift Cards ($5 increments)
Journals/Notebooks
Baby Books to Read
Snacks (Costco is a great place for that)
Anything Inspirational
I know I have a ton of creative friends, so if there is anything not on this list that you would like to donate, we are open to anything you think would bring a smile to a new mom/dad’s face!
Update: A few people have asked how to donate money vs. items. If you would like to do so, you can donate via PayPal. My PayPal email is eatplaycbus@gmail.com. Just make sure you leave your name/address in the note section! ๐
We are hoping to collect these items during the month of November and deliver mid-December. If you purchase off of the Amazon Wish List, it is set-up to be delivered directly to our house. (Make sure you put your name/address in the note section). Everything else, my sister and I are going to pick a few dates and we will do porch pick-up! Just for reference, there are 42 NICU beds. This doesn’t mean you have to donate 42 of something, just giving you a number of how many bags we will be making!
Per usual, “talking” got the best of me and this blog post turned into something much longer than I expected! So, if you’re reading all the way down to this point – I appreciate you and am very lucky to have you in my life! We are so excited to be able give back to the families who will be spending their holidays in the NICU.
Please email me at theriverstriplets@gmail.com with ANY questions at all!!
We appreciate you!
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